城市里每个人都是挫败的受害者，却同时是伤害他人的恐怖分子。在都会文化中，仿佛有一份让人与人间，充满挫败的可能性，有目标的，无目标的，皆在有意无意间在行为上伤害朋友甚至陌生人。


------ 这是人的问题，不是都会的问题

I wanna

Cut and colour my hair ( what colour?? Black is the new brown, but i think i look old and boring with black hair)

Watch lust caution ALONE. Yes, so please, stop asking me to watch with you. Though i don't think you will read this.

Sit in a cafe and write poetry, pondering over life. The magics and tragics of the the big word, LIFE.

Read " Where is God when it hurts?"
Read Jane Austen

Watch lots of deep deep movies. Movies that depict the sadness of love and life, so i can cry all i want. Movies that potray a much more idealistic world than the real one out here, so that i can mock and laugh at the silliness of cultural capitalism.

Cleanse my thoughts, and walk out of jail.

Just in case i die in my sleep, just wanna let you know that I love you.

I swear there's a snake hiding on the rooftop.

It's getting back. Shit.

Im feeling cold all over, and i sense yet another cycle of invasion.

Why do all these have to come back?? I wanna give the heart, the mind a tight slap, a sturdy punch to stop all these.

Shit. I dun wanna sink.

事与愿违。

Wanted to run, but as i was anticipating the clock to strike 615, i realised im feverish.

Damn sian.

Im still grieving afterall, for what seems like an eternity.

Talking to her has helped me gained an insight, thoughts which are hidden in the subconcious mind has suddenly surfaced and make some sense.

Allow yourself to heal. It's ok to grieve, its fine to grieve, but don't dwell. Humans are imperfect, there is no perfect love, only conditional and unconditional love. Friends, true friends give unconditional love. Be receptive of this love. What good things do we see when love dies? Relief. Relieve, release from the painful suffering of a lifeless, loveless relationship. Learning that its not meant to be, and that it's over. Relieve that it's hurting now, for the hurt may be so much more painful and unbearable if love dies, and the relationship goes on.

When and how can i end the grieving and take a leap towards healing? Felt like i've been running on the treadmil for 8 months, covering distances but no displacement. With gallons of sweat dripping and evaporating and dripping and evaporating and dripping and evaporating.....

It doesn't take much effort to truely appreciate life.

Knowing that there are friends out there who care for you, no matter how distant they seem to be.

The gift of a neatly wrapped book in morning, with a note that says it all :)

Meals with company.

Shopping, reading, swimming and running after exams.

Being a taiwan student thereafter.

And yeah, having someone to spend your life and love with.

FAITH.