I dreamt of you, us last night. I dreamt the dream that i've been secretly hoping for so damn long. In fact, it wasn't the first. But this time round, it was so real. Like REAL. And i truely felt so blessed, in my dream. But after a while, you were the same. The same. Nothing has changed.

There are so much things that i wanna tell you, so much feelings, emotions, thoughts that i just wanna blast out to you. But I know you will never be here to listen. Coz the person whom i love so dearly has died, a long time ago. And i wished I was dead too.

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLD)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?
Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

Dear guys and gals! Lets meet up before i leave on valentine's ok!!!! Though its only a 5 month trip, but im already so excited!! Admist the stupid and ever changing subject matching, the yet to be settled accomodation, the endless procedures, im still looking forward to my 5 months of freedom!

Maybe this is the start of my new life. My happiness of my 21st was short lived. And then looking back, i realised that i've totally wasted that year of my life. Maybe not totally, but yeah, it wasn't a good year and probably, one that i wouldn't want to remember. So, i shall be reborned on my 22nd. :)

And of course, i need tangible and intangible stuffs to set off the spark of my 22nd!!

1.Health and happiness for my family and all my friends

2.Good grades

3.Fabuluous FYP

4. A wonderful experience in Taiwan

Hei hei...here comes the important part.... please take note guys and gals...

1. Camera!!!!!!!

2. Make up set from ettusais ( foundatin/ loose powder,blusher)

3. A nice bag that fits A4!

4. Scarfs

5. More clothes! t shirts, tops, dresses


That's all for now i guess :)

W H O . W A S . T H E. L A S T . P E R S O N

1. You hung out with?: My mum
2. Saw you cry: Doesn't have to be a person right...
3. Went to the movies with you?: Lust, caution with Jass
4. You went to the mall with?: Erm, my mum.
5. You went to dinner with?: wah i can't remember. Lunches maybe?
6. You talked on the phone to?: Hui
7. Said ‘I love you’ to you and really meant it: Him
8. Made you laugh?: No one

W O U L D . Y O U . R A T H E R?
1. Pierce your nose or tongue? Nose
2. Be serious or be funny? Funny
3. Drink whole or skim milk? Whole of course!
4. Spend time with your parents or enemies? Parents.

D O . Y O U . P R E F E R.
1. Flowers or candy? Candy. Flowers bring back nightmares
2. Gray or black? Gray
3. Color or Black and white photos? Colour. At lest it makes me feel better
4. Lust or love? I'd rather not have both if they don't exist together
5. Sunrise or sunset? None
6. M and Ms or Skittles? M&Ms.
8. Staying up late or waking up early? waking up early. Im the early bird!
9. Sun or moon? Sun would be better!
10. Winter or Fall? Winter is depressing, so does fall! When the leaves are falling and the weather's chilly
11. Left or right?: right
12. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends?: how about 10 best friends?
13. Sunny or rainy?: Sunny of course
14. Vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream: Dark chocolate ice cream

A B O U T . Y O U
1. What time is it?: 9.56am
2. Nickname(s): jo, joriah, mojojojo
3. What is your birth date?: 22th jan
4. What do you want?: A strong sense of self. A stronger me to brave through the storms.
5. Where do you want to live?: Anywhere so long as i have my partner with me ( if there is going to be one)
6. How many kids do you want?: As many as possible.
7. You want to get married? Highly likely....if there's someone who loves me truely and whom i trust

U N I Q U E
1. Nervous habit: Being jittery
2. Are you double jointed?: No
3. Can you roll your tongue?: No
4. Can you raise one eyebrow?: Nope!
5. Can you cross your eyes?: Of course. And the effect's pretty good with my big eyes
6. Do you make your bed daily?: Yup, almost
7. Can you draw? Yes! My pieces often got displayed! but that was when i was 7

R A N D O M
1. Which shoe goes on first? Right.
2. Ever thrown a shoe at someone? Nope. I rather punch.
3. What is your craziest experience ever? Writing in to the paper to confess to a guy back in Sec sch

F O O D
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl
2. Have you ever eaten spam? Yup...but its unhealthy.
3. Favorite ice cream: Moo ice cream
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? I have none.
5. What’s your favorite beverage? Tea!
6. Do you cook? Yup.

IN . T H E . L A S T . M O N T H . H A V E . Y O U ?
1. Bought something: Yes of course
2. Sang: Iin the bathroom
3. Been hugged: Yup Yup!
4. Felt stupid: Yeah..some sort. When im swayed by the opinions of others
5. Missed someone: Yup
Danced crazy: OH...I SHOULD DO THAT BEFORE I LEAVE FOR TAIWAN!! clubbing!!!!
7. Gotten your hair cut: Nope. I want a new hair style!!
8. Cried on Christmas Day: Yes of course. I even drank.
9. Lied: Who doesn't?!

The End

Why can't they stop fighting???? They just failed to look at things from each other's perspective, they do not communicate. They just suck the blood, tears, fears, lives out of each other. Im disappointed, scared. I feel so alone.

What a year it has been. I spent three quarters of my 21st in pain, misery, self doubt, insecureness, hatred, anger, confusion and what not. I've not emerged as a stronger jo. But a numb jo. And a jo who never cried so much in her life before. Im still afraid, i don't know what shit lies ahead. I just pray for a peaceful year.

And yeah, i got it. So i will be in Taiwan for 5 months. Good, i suppose.

Start anew? I don't know how to. I feel real old.

Finally, i will be travelling, without you. Im ready to embark on the journey, afterall, i've got nothing to lose.

Farewell :)